The Imprisonment of ‘Why’

“Only if I could just find out why did he do this to me, I would make peace with the whole thing,” a client told me in last session.

This is not the first time I’ve heard this.

This is a pretty common thought, we all have experienced this in our lives, when we just want to know why.

Why did he do this to me (betray/cheat/leave)?

What made her behave like this towards me (rude / indifferent / cold)?

Why did my friend cut off from me?

Why do people do such stuff?

I never got a closure, how can I move forward?

Have such questions ever bothered you and engulfed your mental space, your peace and left you feeling frustrated, defeated, stuck or ineffective?

Understand this.

Whenever there are things that are uncertain, unclear and hurtful, we want to know the Why? or Why Me?

And ‘WHY’ keeps us in our own prison. Prison of our mind.”

Reason. Our mind wants to find comfort in knowing all the answers.

What else could have happened?

What my future is going to be now?

What will people think of me? etc.

You, I, and to a large extent us humans, strive to know these answers and impose our will on everything that’s happening in our lives.

Because it’s human mind’s nature to find comfort in certainty, in knowing the answers, as if the answers are giving us the permission to make peace with the person or situation.

The truth is — there’ll be many times when you’ll not get the answers, or right answers, or any closure.

Would you keep allowing that to affect your peace?

Isn’t that a pretty high cost to pay?

Ask yourself: What if I could be ok with not knowing the answers?

What if I make peace and well-being my topmost priority, above and over knowing the answersI’m looking for.

What if I have the power to come to peace right now, in this moment?

Remember, what Glinda, the good witch told Dorothy about going home (in The Wizard of OZ)

What if you knew, that you had this power all along too.

Something that can help you in this journey of reminding yourself of your power and coming back home to yourself -

Believe in yourself and this universe. More.

Take baby, yet significant steps to enter into the place of trust in your heart.

Know that this is a benevolent universe that enables us to move through our lives and work without needing to know all the answers.

Have you wondered how every single cell your body knows how to function, in unison with the other?

This universal power — the source of everything, enables and empowers us to show up each day with presence, love and focus, inviting the wonder and creativity of life to express through us, only if we get out of the way.

We can trust it, love it and cultivate a deep connection with it.

When we do, we know we are already at peace. No answers are needed.



Saloni coaches people to help them connect with their highest self. A life & self-mastery coach from India, mom, dancer, podcaster, author & a lover of life.