I See You Mara -Buddha said.
Have you heard the most fascinating story of Buddha and Mara?
Mara, in Sanskrit means The Lord of death, and is also known as The Goddess Mara (so both he and she are used for Mara in stories).
As the story goes, Siddhartha sat under the Bodhi tree on the night of his enlightenment, vowing not to get up until he had attained enlightenment.
Mara, the demon, which is a personification of all negative forces and temptations like fear, anger, doubt, lust, greed, shame, didn’t want Buddha to find a way past human suffering.
The whole night Mara kept showing up in different forms.
He disguised as terrifying demons who threw spears, fired arrows, called down hail, created disrupting noises like thunder, earthquake and even tried to burn Buddha with showers of fire, but nothing could shake Buddha that night.
Mara even tried to distract him by manifesting countless beautiful women, but Siddhartha responded by developing even deeper concentration.
It’s said that Mara used to visit Buddha earlier too, throughout his Sadhna practice, and he used to fight him, resist him, or try to get rid of him.
That night every time he saw Mara, he didn’t move from his deep concentration.
rather with utmost calm, he welcomed Mara saying — I See You Mara.
This is known as one of the most epic battle between good and bad, where there was no fight.
Finally, Mara came storming up and shouted: what gives you the right to claim enlightenment?
He demanded to know what authority a mere human being had to seek enlightenment.
Siddhartha placed his hand on the ground, which meant “I bear witness.”
He didn’t give in to the self-doubt Mara tried to create inside him and asked earth to be the witness to his claim to enlightenment. (You’ll find many original sculptures of buddha, touching earth with right hand depicting this).
As the stories say, in that moment, as earth appeared to witness his Awakening, Mara vanished.
Siddhartha could see the whole truth of existence, beyond the human suffering, experienced liberation and became enlightened.
The most fascinating part of the story is — that Mara kept showing up in Buddha’s life even after enlightenment, till his last breath.
Every time it showed up, Buddha said with utmost compassion, “I See You Mara”.
The power of this one sentence in living an intentional and conscious life, is beyond anything that I’ve ever experienced in my life, especially when going gets tough.
I remember the time of Covid second wave, as my younger daughter was going through a really tough time emotionally.
She hated online school, lost interest in studies and all the restrictions on going out, to meet her friends, felt like being in a cage to her.
Night after night, she would cry and crumble, sharing her anxieties, how uncomfortable she was.
I’d try my best to listen as a loving mother, but within a few minutes her pain would overwhelm me.
My mind would start running, how do I help her, what can I tell her to fix her sadness, and heal her pain?
The more I tried to advise and support her, the worse she would feel and won’t even feel like sharing more with me after that.
I realised It’s about me, my need to control and fix, not her.
I wasn’t able to handle my own discomfort of seeing her in pain, that’s why I feel the need to fix her pain. I was in lot of pain, not able to bear this.
I started to practice being mindful. Every time she’d be open to share anything, I’d breathe deeply, open up myself physically and mentally to create a space.
I’d repeat in my head — I am here to only listen and hold space for her. She’s capable of healing herself. She just needs my love, no advice is needed.
My discomfort would show up, the need to give a suggestion, the need to help her ease her struggle, will show up. My pain will show up.
And I’d say to them — I see you. I see you Mara.
I’d stay quiet, feel all the love and care in my heart and keep sending her love and light. It wasn’t easy, though was doable.
In few weeks, she started to feel better and healing was as natural as breathing.
I learnt and realised that only acknowledging the need to control and fix, was more than enough for me to let go of them.
I didn’t need to fight or push them away, rather just accept, see and welcome them in my loving tenderness.
Every time, anger, reactive impulse, unwanted desires or temptations, envy, jealousy, self-doubt, guilt, shame or excessive excitement, whatever shows up -you can say, I see you Mara.
No judgment. No labelling. No resistance. No fight.
When we acknowledge that Mara is here and welcome it with softness, and utmost loving compassion, the feeling dissolves and disappears.
What’s your take on this story of Mara?
Please share with me your experience, if you try this. I’d love to hear from you.
Much love,
Saloni xo
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About Author:
Dr. Saloni Singh is a certified Life, Self-mastery & Leadership coach, mental & emotional well-being catalyst, a meditation and mindfulness facilitator & trainer, a certified Happiness coach and Master NLP practitioner.
She specialises into Coaching leaders for connecting with themselves deeply, handling stress, anxiety and tapping into the wellspring of inner well-being and self-mastery. She has been working with individuals, teams, families & groups globally for 15 years, to raise self-awareness.
She facilitates workshops for Conscious Leadership, Mental & emotional well-being, Mindfulness, Stress and conflict management and Coaching skills training for organisations.
To know more about her, or follow her blogs, go here: www.salonisingh.com or listen to her on Josh Talks
